“It’s always around me, all this noise. But not nearly as loud as the voice saying: ‘Let it happen, let it happen…’” 

Kevin Parker’s lyrics in “Let It Happen” resonate deeply with the personal growth I’ve experienced in high school, as I have learned to embrace the outlook that everything happens for a reason. 

Growing up as a perfectionist, I’ve always had extremely high expectations for myself. Though this attitude can be destructive, I’ve learned the only way to work with it is to accept the failures that are inevitable on the path to achieving my goals. 

My freshman year, I got cut from a sport that I dedicated hours of my week and entire weekends to in middle school. When my reality turned out differently from the one I had grown to envision for myself, it felt like I had lost control. But, as I still wanted to play a fall sport freshman year, I decided to try out for field hockey. At first, it was nerve-racking and intimidating. I was surrounded by new faces in a sport I had never tried. However, I soon found that my years in soccer translated over to many aspects of field hockey, and it pushed me to challenge myself and get out of my comfort zone.  

I ended up embracing the genuine joy of playing because I developed more confidence than in any other sport before I stopped constantly analyzing every mistake I made and spent less time ruminating on how I was being perceived, like I had growing up. Through field hockey, I built special and long-lasting connections that would have never formed if I wasn’t forced to pivot and give a different path a chance. This was one of the first experiences in high school that taught me that the way I perceive failure is ultimately what determines my true success. 

In freshman and sophomore year, I stopped by a handful of club meetings here and there, but I didn’t build a strong connection with any. At the end of sophomore year, I was inspired by my English project to find a solution to the environmental impact of fast fashion by creating Thrift Swap Club and Craft Club. Taking on this role in an unfamiliar environment pushed me to learn new skills of collaboration and leadership. 

The biggest challenges I faced were connecting a new club to students and gaining traction on campus. At first, our attendance was low, and it was difficult to get students participating in our swaps. Instead of passively observing this and allowing the struggle to discourage me, I took action by increasing advertisements on social media, creating a club Remind, hanging up posters and showing up at club fair events. This inspired me to become a more dedicated and confident leader because I found that my work and my clubs are only a reflection of my best effort. 

In my second semester of becoming a new club president, I also ran for leadership positions in existing clubs to strengthen my college application. Although I lost a few elections for club positions, I actually learned to embrace any outcome when things are out of my control. All that mattered was that I put in my best possible work.  My younger self would have had a much harder time coping with losing things that I got excited about or worked for, but the only way I’ve become a more confident person who’s willing to explore new things is by becoming comfortable with failure. These discouragements have been hand in hand with my accomplishments, and I have achieved so much by simply pushing myself into unfamiliar spaces.

I’ve really seen all of this progress bubble to the surface during college acceptance season this past March.  While I will be attending one of my top choice colleges, my “dream” school ended up waitlisting me. Even though I was definitely distraught at first because I had subconsciously created this life for myself that I would have had attending that school, I was surprised at my ability to pivot and become both excited and motivated for the path I’m taking with a different school. I decided quickly for myself that instead of dwelling on something out of my control, I will embrace all the special qualities and aspects of this school, so I can truly make the most out of my experience without ruminating on the “what-ifs.” 

In the words of Kevin Parker: “Now I’m ready, moving on. Oh, but maybe I was ready all along…”